Hello, I’m Cameka and this is my blog Beautifully Black and Bipolar. So to give you some insight on me, I’m a charismatic self proclaimed southern belle who doesn’t take herself too serious. I’m a passionate woman. I love dancing, traveling and I love to smile. My friends call me the free spirit. Then there are those days I’ll start to go without my makeup, clothes wrinkled, tired/exhausted looking, disoriented, irritable, and uncontrollably crying. I then fall into this place of pain. Whenever I have to describe it to any of my physicians I tell them when I come out of it I feel like I have been fighting 3 men my body aches so bad from the sadness. It’s a tormenting pain because you don’t even have to have a reason to be crying so uncontrollably- you just do. And it seems as though it last forever, and that’s when I have to more than likely be hospitalized.
Since 2012 I have been hospitalized twice. My condition doesn’t only hurt me it hurts my family. My children have gone through this with me longer than anyone and they have been my biggest support, however I know it’s also scary for them. My husband is new to this. We’ve been together for 4 years and married 1. He has been pretty great supporting me through something that he doesn’t really understand. My moods and depression has had it’s affect on our relationship. Living with Bipolar Disorder and living with someone with Bipolar Disorder will challenge any relationship.
I decide to blog about my illness for a number of reasons. For one, I was tired of being ashamed for having mental illness. I didn’t want to hide what was going on with me any longer. I’m a talker and I need to get things out of me, especially how being bipolar has influenced my life and relationships. I’m also using this blog as a guide for treatment for myself as I have decided to managed my disorder naturally-without medication. Don’t get me wrong I believe in the benefits of medication, they have stabilized me when I was really going through it. However, this is a route I have decided to go on for myself. I might talk about some of the reasons why later. I just don’t want anyone reading this to take my decision for treatment as me promoting it for others. I AM NOT. It’s best to come up with a treatment plan with your doctor that suits you, your lifestyle, and family. I’m not doing this alone. I talked to my family about it as well as my therapist.